Fragments
by LittleMissSophie
Summary: Just Shirlulu scenes... in order from when Lelouch first comes to Ashford, to well, the end. Yes, I did add in more scenes, for fluff! xD but it covers all the flashbacks, and all the canon scenes. Enjoy!


"Hi, my name is Lelouch Lamperouge. Nice to meet you all," He smiled and waved at the class facing him.

The teacher pointed him to a seat; the seat next to Shirley. She could already tell that he was going to be a heart-throb at Ashford; with his silky black hair and gorgeous amethyst eyes. When he sat next to her, he immediately dropped his smile and instead chose to gaze out of the window with a dull expression on his face.

She wasn't going to fall for him though. Other than his looks, there was nothing special about him.

* * *

><p>"Hey Shirley, what do you think about Lelouch Lamperouge?" Sophie giggled. "You are in the Student Council, right? You must know more about him than the rest of us do."<p>

Shirley glanced over the Lelouch, who was talking to Rivalz. "He's no different from any of the other guys. He always seems to be avoiding work, and he never volunteers for anything. I don't get what's so _appealing_ about him. And he gambles too." She pouted at the thought.

"Lelouch GAMBLES?" Sophie gasped. "Oh my gosh! That is _so bad_! I don't know how I can take this…" she sighed.

"It's not like you're going to get him Sophie." Shirley said simply, "If he wanted a girlfriend, he would've gotten one by now."

"Yeah but… he's so… irresistible." Sophie got up from her spot. "Well, we have to go to the Swim Team. Shirley, you coming?"

Shirley nodded, and took one last look at Lelouch. And for a second, she could've sworn he glanced at her too.

* * *

><p>She wasn't entirely sure what was going on. Either way, she was going to be late for school, as the police officers blocked all the roads in order to help clear out the problem.<p>

"IT WAS CLEARLY THE OLD MAN'S FAULT FOR CRASHING INTO _ME_!" the young man shouted at the police.

"No! _He_ rammed into me! I don't understand what this young man is babbling about, _he_ crashed into me!" The old man yelled in response.

"Sir, are you really so arrogant that you'd blame your own mistake on an elderly couple?" a voice asked out in the silence. Lelouch appeared out of the crowd, with a casual demeanour.

"Who the hell are you? Get out of here, you have nothing to do with this!" the man yelled. "Besides, how would _you _know that they didn't crash into me?"

"It's quite simple. You can see that your car has more damage, suggesting that you had collided with them." Lelouch explained coolly.

"You have a point there…" the police officer grumbled.

"Then I purpose you charge this man for the repairs, rather than the elderly couple." Lelouch said.

"Alright then, come with me!" the police officer took the young man away in his car, while a tow truck took away both vehicles. But before the old man and woman could thank him, Lelouch was out of sight; driving away with Rivalz. Shirley watched in awe.

_Why did he bother to help those people? He wasn't even there to soak up the glory, or to joke about it with his friends. He's different… I want to see what makes him tick. What makes him different… I'll find out. For sure._

* * *

><p>It was yet another trepid history class, which the teacher droned on and on about Britannia's victories over the numbers, and how eventually they'll concur all the other areas too, including the Chinese Federation and the E.U. Shirley took notes attentively, but yet couldn't help but occasionally glance at the boy beside her, who just looked outside, in deep thought.<p>

She knew more about him now, but couldn't help but feel so distant from him. Lelouch Lamperouge and his younger sister, Nunnally Lamerouge [who she had met, and is very kind] had come to Ashford after the invasion, seeking refuge with the Ashfords. So, they live here at Ashford Academy, and attend school here for free.

So… what does he think about? She supposed when he was spacing out [which was too often, to Shirley], he was probably thinking about being in Area 11 during the invasion. But why would he and Nunnally be sent here, right before Britannia had come? And… why is Nunnally crippled? No matter how many times she pleaded, Milly had refused to let out anything else than what she already knew. Shirley sighed as she scanned over her notes, which started out as neat and orderly, but got messier as the page went on. By the end, she could barely tell it was her own handwriting, let alone being able to read it. She'd have to get the notes from Nina… which would be hard considering Nina barely parts from her computer; she types all her notes on.

Suddenly, a voice interrupted her thoughts. "Shirley?"

She turned to find Lelouch staring at her. She took in his eyes, a rich purple that were almost whispering secrets to her. She snapped out of her daze and replied, "Yes? What is it Lelouch?"

"Can I have your notes today? I know there's a test tomorrow, and I need to study."

Shirley glanced at her notes again, and said wildly, "N-no! My notes are all messy! Besides," she looked at him sternly, "Shouldn't _you _have notes?"

He smirked in embarrassment, and her heart nearly melted at the sight of him. "Well, I don't exactly _like_ history class. So I don't really take notes, as you could tell." He gestured to his blank notepad in front of him. "I was just hoping if you could help me out Shirley."

She could feel her cheeks burn as he said her name. "Lelouch, just because you're the heart-throb of the school _doesn't_ mean that you can swoon a girl into making you do the work for you. So go ask some other girl, because your charms won't work on me!" And with that, Shirley gathered up her books and left. She could still feel her heart thumping in her chest as she walked off. _Oh no, I don't like him… do I?_

Lelouch smirked in amusement as he watched her leave. "Shirley Fenette…" he said softly. "You certainly are…_ different._"

* * *

><p>Lelou. <em>That, <em>in her opinion, was much better than Lelouch. Lelouch sounded too deep and serious, which described him perfectly… but she felt that he needed more warmth in him, and thus, a warm nickname would help bring that out. At least, that was what Shirley hoped. But she couldn't just start calling him that; she'd need to ask for his permission first. When she asked Milly on advice, she just laughed.

"_Lelou?" Milly repeated, astounded. "Shirley, do you like Lelouch? Did you fall head-over-heels like all the other girls did?"_

"_N-no! Of course not!" Shirley stammered, blushing tomato red. "What would make you think that?"_

"_Well, first you go asking me every single little detail about him," Milly started off, "And now you've made up a nickname for him, and are asking me how to ask _him_ if it was alright to call him that. You sound like you're in love with him alright, am I wrong?" She winked at Shirley suggestively._

"_MADAME PREZ!" Shirley shouted, "I don't like him okay? I just think… he needs cheering up. Lelouch is always so grumpy and serious, and his name isn't helping him at all. So… Lelou just sounds nicer, and a lot more…. _open. _So Milly, can you help me?"_

"_Shirley, you know I'm a hopeless romantic." Milly sighed, "But I don't know how to help you. If you like him, you should just go up to him and tell him yourself!"_

"_MILLY, FOR THE LAST TIME, I DON'T LIKE HIM!"_

She didn't know how exactly to get this nickname on him. Should she just call it out, and expect him to respond? Or should she just go up and ask him? Shirley sat, deep in thought, when she felt a tap on her shoulder.

"Shirley?"

"Lelou?" she asked, and looked to see Nunnally beside her, rather than Lelouch.

"Lelou? Were you expecting my big brother?" Nunnally asked worriedly.

"No! Of course not!" Shirley blushed. "Nunnally, what is it?"

"I was just hoping if you saw Rivalz. He has something that big brother needs, so he asked me if I could go get him."

"No Nunnally, I haven't seen him all day. I'm sorry."

"It's alright, but if you see him, can you tell him that Lelouch wants his documents back?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Thank you."

Nunnally wheeled off with Sayoko, who used to be the Ashford's maid, but was relocated to the Lamperouges instead.

Shirley looked at her watch; it was time for 5th period… history. The only class she had with him. There, she decided, that she would go ask him. Or call him by that name. Or _something._ She walked out of the Student Council's headquarters determinedly.

When she arrived at her classroom, she spotted Lelou, being harassed by some of his fangirls.

"Hey Shirley! Can you help me out here?" he called, as the girls continued their assault.

"No problem Lelou!" she called back and she swatted the girls away from her seat, and sat down. When they saw her, they immediately fled back to their seats.

Lelouch grinned weakly, "Thanks. I don't know how I would've gotten them away otherwise."

"Oh Lelou, when will you ever learn? You can't relax your guard when you have all of those _fangirls_ ready to pounce on you at any given moment." She sighed.

"Lelou?" he looked at her, puzzled.

"Oh! So, uh, you don't like it do you? It's alright, really, I can just call you Lelouch!" Shirley stammered, her face going red once again.

He chuckled. "No, I don't mind if you call me Lelou."

Her face brightened considerably. "You don't?"

"Well, it's the least I could do, you always save me from _those girls_." He grimaced. "And besides, I kinda like it." He smiled at her, which made her flush even harder.

"A-alright then. L-lelou." She stuttered, looking down.

And at that moment, she realized that she was in love with him.

* * *

><p>"Eh? Where's Lelouch?" Milly asked.<p>

"He went somewhere with Rivalz," Shirley said, thinking.

"What, maybe its poker this time?" Milly giggled.

"They seem to forget that they're on the student council! They're off gambling for money! Lelou may be smart, but he wastes his brain on stupid things! If only he applied himself at school, he'd get high grades!" Shirley fumed, banishing her tomato whilst talking.

"'Ah, I wish my darling Lelou was a serious young man!' How adorable is that?" Milly smiled.

"Please Madame President…" Shirley muttered. Almost everyone in the student council knew about Shirley's feelings for the young britannian at this point, besides the boy himself.

"Aw, you know I'm just teasing you!" Milly said, "Relax! So, when are you going to confess?"

Shirley nearly chocked on her salad. "C-confess?"

"Shirley, you've been in love with him for two years now. Come on, you're going to have to tell him sometime." Milly told her distressed friend. "So, should I set you guys up?"

"N-no! It's fine, really." She blushed, playing with her salad.

"Really? Are you sure?"

Shirley nodded vigorously.

"Fine… have it your way." Milly sighed.

* * *

><p>She couldn't believe it. Lelouch and Kallen… were kissing. <em>Kissing<em>! Shirley could feel her heart sink at the thought of them going out.

_It's not like Lelou has ever shown interest in me_… Shirley thought. _And_ _Kallen _is_ much better looking than me…._

She sighed, and continued moving the costumes for their next festival. Shirley remained in her depression for the rest of the day, playing absent-mindedly with her hair throughout history, ignoring Lelouch and not taking any notes.

_I… should be happy for them, right? Then why am I hurting so bad?_ She sighed, and started doodling on her notepad.

The next day, she spotted Kallen, and decided to get the truth once and for all. "Hey Kallen, can I ask you something?"

"Yeah… sure."

"Kallen, are you hiding something from us?"

"Huh?"

"If it's something too personal…"

"No… what are you talking about?"

"You can tell me, I promise I won't be shocked or upset. Well the thing is, I happened to see you before…"

Kallen tensed, and drew her knife slowly.

"YOU'RE GOING OUT WITH LELOU RIGHT?"

"Lelou?"

"The other day, I saw you outside…"

"Oh! No no no no! That was all his doing!"

"'His doing?'"

"No wait, it wasn't like that!"

"I don't get it, you were trying so hard to catch the cat before…"

"No, that wasn't it! Besides, it's not like we kissed or anything!"

"'Or anything?' Then you stopped short of doing it?"

"Will you quit imagining things? You don't understand the circumstances one bit! Lelouch and I aren't dating!"

"Really? Are you sure?"

"Yes! There's nothing between Lelouch and I!" Suzaku appeared out of the door. "That's how it is… anyway."

Shirley couldn't believe Kallen, even after all of that. She felt her eyes sting with tears as she held Arthur. When Suzaku had asked what's wrong, Shirley merely shook her head and got back to work.

* * *

><p>"I've never left the Tokyo Settlement before! This is my first time!" Shirley said excitedly whilst watching the scenery outside.<p>

"I'm sure you wish _Lelouch_ was here with us, don't you?" Milly asked, causing Shirley to jump up in alarm and blush.

"Don't be so shy!" Milly told her, "Tonight, we can spend all night talking. We can spend all night telling each other which guys we like from school!"

"You'll probably have a lot to talk about, right Mrs. President?" Shirley grumbled under her breath.

"Who can say…" Milly sighed.

As their train got into a tunnel, the daylight was shunned from their cabin, and Nina jumped in alarm.

"Nina, it's alright. There's a lot of Britannian Turrets that are in Kawaguchi, so security's fine. Don't be afraid, it's not the ghettos." Milly reassured her.

"Yes, but what if the elevens come and invade?" Nina whispered in fear.

"Then I'm sure they'll get the best military force to come rescue us. And remember, Suzaku is in the military, so he'll be our Knight in Shining Armour!" Milly giggled.

"S-suzaku? Yeah…" Nina looked down, clearly uneasy with the subject.

"So Shirley, are you gonna ask Lelou anytime soon?"

"EH? MADAME PREZ!" Shirley shouted in embarrassment.

"Come on, you know if you don't do anything, someone like Kallen could swoop him out and away!" Milly said seriously.

Shirley tensed as she remembered what happened the other day. "Yeah…"

"So, you should get a move on!" Milly smiled warmly.

"Yeah well… what about you Madame President?" Shirley asked.

"I'm not sure, to be honest. I might be put into another arranged marriage soon." Milly sighed.

"Oh… so you don't like any of the suitors your grandfather shows you?"

"No… no I'm afraid I don't. But I'm sure everything will work out between me and _him_." She murmured, falling into a deep train of thought.

* * *

><p>Shirley looked at the tickets in her hand. Her father had given them to her, in order to keep her happy. Two tickets to the Opera… which were scheduled two days from now. When Milly saw them, she almost forced Shirley to give one to Lelouch.<p>

"_This will be your first date with him! So go on!" she smiled as she shoved Shirley out of the door_.

She sighed as she waited outside for Lelou. Finally, when he came, she immediately approached him.

"My dad works a real long way from here, but he likes to send me stuff like this in order to keep my spirits up, y'know? So I was wondering…" Shirley blushed as she offered the ticket to Lelouch.

"Oh! Y-yeah, sure. I'll go with you Shirley." He took his ticket with a soft smile.

When she was finally alone, Shirley closed her eyes and felt her heart thumping. She was relieved that Lelou had accepted her invitation, and she was happy that she could share a gift with the one person she loved most. _So this is what it's like… to be in love._

* * *

><p>"D-DADDY!" Shirley shouted out in horror, as they unzipped the bag open. Shirley's mother fell to her knees as she broke down, sobbing.<p>

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Fenette." the noble beside her said.

* * *

><p>She was standing in the rain, soaked, wet and crying. She didn't care, as the rain did nothing compared to the misery she felt now. She was late; and Lelouch stood her up. There is nothing but cruelty in this world, is there?<p>

She heard footsteps, and Lelouch had come.

"I'm sorry I was late, I thought you'd already be home by now."

Shirley didn't respond, nor did she look up.

"Anyway, nevermind that. Come on, let's go get out of the rain now."

"Lelou… tell me. Zero, he fights for the weak right?"

Lelouch was caught off guard from this.

"Yeah, well that's what he says."

"So…" her tears trailed down faster as she formed the sentence in her head, "So why did he kill my father? My father… was so gentle. He never ever hurt me… he didn't do anything wrong. But he was buried alive… he couldn't… breathe." She looked at him fully now, and she could see the shock in his eyes.

"I… I don't want this! I don't want this! Noooo!"

He dropped the umbrella as she ran up and hugged him. She sobbed in his arms loudly, almost trembling in pain.

"Help me…" she whispered as she inched closer to him. Then, she kissed him.

The kiss felt soft, and comforting. She almost lost herself in it, as she felt Lelouch hug her closer to himself. When they parted, there was an awkward silence between the both of them. And without a word, Shirley left, stumbling back home.

* * *

><p>"… he was a pure soul, who always looked to God in his life, and a friend to us all. To his wife, he was a devoted husband, to his child, a loving father."<p>

_Father_… a tear slipped through Shirley's eyes.

"May he rest in peace, forever cradled in the bosom of Our Lord."

When they started to throw the dirt on Joseph Fenette's coffin, Shirley's mother cried out in terror.

"No! Stop! Don't bury him again, please! He's suffered enough! Oh God, don't leave me!" she sobbed.

Shirley went over to hug her mother.

"Mom, he's gone already. Please mom…"

"_Guess what Papa! Someday when I grow up, I'm gonna be your wife!" Shirley, pure and innocent, smiled happily._

"_Oh, that's very sweet of you honey, but your teacher told you, didn't she?"_

"_Huh?"_

"_Someday you'll meet the man you really love."_

"_More than I do you?"_

"_Hmm… it's hard to explain. Well, if you truly love that person, and he cares for you just as much, it'd make me the happiest father on earth."_

His words echoed through her mind as she walked over to her friends.

"Shirley… I'm so sorry this happened…" Kallen began.

"Oh stop, what do you have to apologize for?"

"We feel awful!" Rival said, "It's just that, when we were all watching the Hotel Jacking on TV, I thought the Black Knights were well… heroes. I mean, the news was handling it all wrong, anyway, I was posting online that I thought what happened in Narita was kinda cool, and I… forgive me." Rival bowed to Shirley.

"Come on, don't be silly! That has absolutely nothing to do with this at all! Even I was saying Narita was-"

"Shirley, stop! Seriously, I'm starting to worry about you here. Have you cried yet? If you hold it in, it'll only make it worse." Milly told her.

"You don't have to worry. Really, I'm fine. I cried a lot." She said, remembering the night before.

"Cowards." Suzaku snarled.

"Zero and his people… their methods are just cowardly. He doesn't even get his hands dirty! He stirs people into a frenzy, tips the world into chaos, and sits back and congratulates himself. It isn't going to change a thing! Anything gained through his tactics are just meaningless!"

"… Well anyway, I think it's time to head back everyone." Milly announced, changing the topic. "Shirley, we'll be waiting for you, back in the old student council room. Same as ever."

As they started to leave, Rivalz tried talking to Lelouch, but Milly took him away.

They all left, leaving Shirley and Lelouch alone.

"Lelou… forgive me."

Lelouch's eyes widen in shock. "What?"

"Kissing you like that… it wasn't fair of me at all! It was just… something I did. Forget about it okay? I shouldn't have put you on the spot like that! Sorry, it was totally stupid of me. Like, you finally kissed me, and I can't even be happy." She could feel the tears well up, and ran before he could see them.

"Wait! Shirley!" He reached out to grab her, but it was already too late.

* * *

><p>"<em>There is a possibility that this boy is linked to the Black Knights." Viletta told her, watching her.<em>

_Shirley held the portrait of her darling Lelou in disbelief._

"_What are you saying? So he's involved-?"_

"_With terrorism." _

"_I don't believe you!" Shirley shouted._

_It can't be… it has to be a lie!_ She thought, as she followed Lelouch. _Lelou, I'm sorry to be doubting you like this… but…_

Shirley was wandering around the bay, hoping not to run into Lelouch. Suddenly, she heard gunfire, and she saw Knightmares fighting.

"Oh my god," she whispered to herself. "Terrorists…"

Shirley never noticed Viletta watching by.

She watched in horror as gunfire lit the sky, and angry yells pierced the silence.

"Lelou just can't be a member of the Black Knights, can he?"

Then, a knightmare cockpit crashed by her, showing Zero's body, unconscious. Shirley noticed a gun near her, and prepared to shoot.

"With this… I'll repay you… for my father!"

At this moment, the mask slipped off, revealing Lelouch's face.

* * *

><p>Tears fell from Shirley's eyes as she wrote what happened that night.<p>

_Lelouch… Lelou… is Zero!_

"Shirley?" Sophie awoke to Shirley's pen scratching away on the parchment.

She quickly scrunched the paper up, and hid Zero's… Lelouch's gun in her jacket.

"What are you doing up so late? Writing a love letter? Something special for Lelouch?" her dorm mate asked her softly.

"Yeah… something like that..." Shirley muttered.

* * *

><p>Her mind was crowded with thoughts as she stepped on the subway.<p>

_Lelouch… why? Why did you kill my father? Why are you Zero? _

Then, she fully grasped it. Lelouch is Zero… so he _killed_ Prince Clovis. And he saved them all at the Hotel Jacking…

_But he killed my father!_

But she, Shirley, had killed someone too. She killed to protect _him_.

_Shirley held the gun to Zero's body, shaking._

"_Is that Zero?" A voice rang through the silence._

_Viletta walked by Shirley, and came to lift up Zero's head._

"_Well well, what a shocker. The student is Zero himself. A Britannian?" She laughed at the thought._

"_When I bring him to Viceroy Cornelia she'll make me a noble. Not just a knight of honor, real nobility! And he's still alive too! What kind of _grande _execution will they have in store for him?"_

_Shirley's eyes widen with fear._

"_Of course, you'll be rewarded too."_

_She's…. she'll… she'll kill him! Shirley thought, aiming the gun at Viletta now._

"_Oh silly me, he's your boyfriend, isn't he?"_

"_LELOU!"_

_Without thinking, Shirley pulled the trigger._

* * *

><p>Shirley walked to the memorial, closing the bag containing the gun, and her father's picture among other things inside.<p>

_Lelou… how could you do this?_

"Yes, how could he?" a voice repeated behind her.

When she turned around, a man with long white hair and a visor covering his eyes appeared.

"A _very _fine memorial, isn't it Miss Shirley Fenette?"

She started backing away, frightened.

"He's a very cruel man, isn't he? Lelouch."

_What? No…_

"how do you know about Lelou?"

"Aw, he deceived you. Never told you he was Zero."

How did he know about lelouch? Zero? Herself? She gasped as he said his name.

"Who are you? What do you want?" she dropped her bag, completely forgetting about the gun inside.

Shirley was thinking of possible people who this man could be. A terrorist? He certainly didn't look britannian…

"The mouth who ordered your father's death." He walked closer to her. "The same one that stole a kiss from your tender lips. He's a very bad man, and _you like it._"

Instant denial bubbled at her lips, but she was too deep in shock to say anything.

"Punishment must be measured out, for him and _you_."

"To me?"

"I know _everything_. All that happened that night."

Shirley cringed at the memory. The man smiled at her pain.

"You have a gun in that bag of yours, don't you?"

Shirley's eyes flickered at her fallen bag.

"How do you know this?" she whispered in fear.

"Didn't I tell you? I know _everything_ about you, Miss Fenette. Your school life, your swim club… you even have a diary… and the last entry was on the day Zero attacked Narita." He took another step closer.

_Should I go for the gun? What if he tries to shoot me?_ Shirley glanced at her bag once more.

"Planning to shoot me? _I'm_ not the villain here. You are. And so is your darling Lelou." He wore a twisted smile. "Sinners must atone for their evil deeds…"

"LELOU ISN'T A SINNER!" Shirley shouted, dropping to her knees.

"Oh? And what makes you say that? He _killed your father_. He killed Clovis. And now that you know about his identity… he'll probably kill you too."

"Lelou? No…" she shook her head in denial.

"If you kill Lelouch, then he'll be free from all the sins that he's committed. Of course, you'd have to die too, to wash the sin of killing."

"I can't…"

"Yes you can. You want to save him, don't you?" he cocked his head. "Come, I have a special place we can meet him. The perfect place to end this."

* * *

><p><em>Lelou…<em>

Shirley walked to the cart that was coming up, feeling dazed.

When he saw her, she saw the shock on his face. And she read her name on his lips.

As they were walking out, Shirley was careful to keep her gun pointed at Lelouch.

"Shirley… that gun is…"

"Yes, Zero's. Your gun Lelou."

"Why don't you use your geass? I'm pretty sure you haven't used it on her."

Shirley was zoned out as the two conversed. Her mind was scrambled with memories. She knew that she had to kill him; his salvation. Shirley braced herself.

"Lelou… die. We'll atone for our sins! We have to! I'll die with you!"

_Yes, we'll die together. Then we can finally be free…_

"She's already killed one time: she shot the person who saw your face. All to protect your little secret."

The memory resurfaced yet again as Mao mentioned it; she fought it down, focusing on what was in front of her right now.

"Then… that blood was…"

"It's time to end this together… Lelou." Her voice sounded quiet, strained. As she spoke, a mild surprised registered at the back of her mind; she ignored it.

"Yes, Sinners must be punished."

"You put her up to this, didn't you?"

Shirley felt another wave of shock pass through her. Why was he defending her? Did she think that she was so pure? So…

"Yes, that's right!" At this, Mao started clapping.

"Don't let him trick you! Shirley, he's just-"

"Come now, are you actually saying this? The one who lied to her from the start?"

Shirley cringed in pain, and shouted out in agony.

"NO! STOP IT!"

"If murder is a sin, then this absolutely increases the sin!"

"Oh, I love the wording. Very piffy."

"Shirley, did you really kill somebody? And if you did kill was he the one who put you up to it?"

_No Lelou… it was me. It was all me!_ A voice in her mind shouted, although she felt as though she couldn't speak.

"Shirley pulled the trigger and she knows it, when you hide away your sins, it only makes it worse."

"HE'S TRYING TO CONFUSE YOU SHIRLEY!"

Shirley couldn't take it anymore. Her heart, which was already trobbing in pain before, felt as though it was about to burst.

"WHY DON'T YOU JUST SHUT UP!"

Shirley took a shot, closing her eyes. When she opened them, Lelouch was on the ground… and her pictures were too.

Her eyes started to tear up as she looked at them all; all the fun times at the Acadamy… with Lelou. Not Zero… Lelouch. Her Lelou. She lowered the gun.

"Why are you hesitating for? _He's_ the one who killed your father! Don't you know, he's a sinner! Kill him now!"

_B-but… Lelou…_

"Shirley…"

"I just…. I don't…" she stuttered, trailing off. She couldn't think, she couldn't think at all. Her head felt like it was about to explode; the dizzying confusion made her tremble.

She saw Mao raising up his gun. Panic spiked her system, and she shot the gun away.

"STOP IT! JUST STOP IT!"

Then everything became too much, and Shirley dropped, almost fainting.

"SHIRLEY!"

She felt Lelouch catch her, holding her. Shirley didn't want him to let go… even though he was a sinner. He killed her father. And now…

"It's alright… it's over." His voice soothed her, although she still felt terrible.

"Lelou… I really did kill someone… that's why I…" her voice cracked in agony. He hugged her closer to himself, and she felt butterflies almost erupt in her stomach once more.

"It's because of me, it's not your fault."

Not her fault?

"But I shot you with your gun…" Shirley protested, her voice still thick.

"I'm still alive…"

Why was he defending her, protecting her? She didn't deserve it, any of it!

"But! I did it…" Tears slipped through her eyes as she hugged him closer, the pain overwhelming now.

"Shirley… any sin you committed is mine to bear."

"I wanted you to be kind to me…"

"And what's wrong with that?"

"Even though my father died…"

"Don't worry; it's time to forget all the bad things that happened to you."

"I CAN'T!" If she could… she already would've. In an instant. A heartbeat.

"Yes you can! … I'll help you forget all of this."

"Impossible," she whispered, looking up at him and looking into his eyes. The eyes that whispered secrets to her... the eyes that were so downcast, angry, and worried. The eyes of the one she loved.

"Shirley… I'm sorry about your father. If I could be reborn into a new life… I would."

At this, a bird-like signal encompassed his eyes… and she realized what he was going to do.

"NO LELOU! DON'T!"

* * *

><p>Shirley began walking away, when she saw a boy standing behind her.<p>

"Oh, did you lose someone from your family too?" She felt sorry for the boy… he almost seemed to radiate sadness and loss from his body.

"No, not someone from my family. It was a friend. Someone… well… very important." He looked at her somberly. She could see the pain in his eyes, even now.

"I understand…" Shirley whispered.

"I didn't know… I didn't know until after I lost her… that I realized how much she meant to me. How her smile saved me… and how I'll never be able to laugh or argue with her again."

"I see… you loved her, didn't you? You must feel terrible…" She almost felt like hugging him… the sadness that he emitted was so touching…. It almost made her heart ache too.

"Right now… I don't know anymore…"

"Well, the morning always comes again."

He looked at her, surprised.

"What?"

"I have to say it's funny. I know I came out here for some reason; but I can't remember exactly what it was now. Maybe it's because I already put the whole thing behind me. Something I wanted to let go of. Something I knew I couldn't forget. Maybe I was full of sadness… but morning still comes, right? That's why you shouldn't hold back your thoughts like that."

"Yes, you're right. I feel the same way now. Thanks a lot… for everything."

* * *

><p><em>AN: AWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I had to rewatch some episodes for the exact dialog, so re-watching 14 made my eyes sting with tears yet again ToT SO ADORABLE. Oh my gosh I love Shirlulu so much! :D So yeah, this is going to be part one of four fics. First will be this, obviously xD Which covers ummm… pre episode one to 14. Then the second fic [which will be the" next chapter"] will be episodes 15-25. After that would be Post R1 – Episode 1 R2. Finally, the last part is obviously, Episode 2 R2 till… that episode. I started working on this when FF crashed on me the first time; and the reason why I'm uploading it now is because I was too scared to do episode 14 because I was afraid I was gonna end up crying again XDD Ah, I should mention two things. One: Sophie is not a Self Insert, or anything like that, she's a legit friend of Shirley, and she's part of the swim team. The whole name thing is a coincidence. Second: Yes, I know Shirley's exchange with Mao is different from the actual canon dialog, but I got the first part down and then finished it by myself XD Because I just like the whole attacking lelouch denial thing, and the ending piece just kinda sums it up better, in my opinion. XD OH MY GOSH 5.6k of words… yeah. This one is long XD So please, rate and review! [although no one really rates, but whatever? XD]_


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